Happy New Year. ThankYou. I Promise.

With a new year closing in, I thought I would take this time to say a few words that are comign from the heart. I want to wish everyone whos is reading this a very happy new year[a few days till]. It's been a very interesting year. From start to finish...it's been quite the eventful year. From winning my first dance competiton[Collision] to winning prom king with alice being prom queen, or even to embarking on a new journey called college...2008 has definately been a year to remember. Damn, where do I start?

Well, winning Collision def. was an experience that has def changed the way I look at things. Collision was my first dance competition ever. I loved the feel of being on stage. I loved the thrill. As soon as I stepped out and danced...I was hooked Hooked as if it were a drug. i wanted more...and forever till this day...I crave the thrill and feeling of being on stage. Dance became more than just a passion..it became my drug. My drug away from the drugs that harm. It has become my expression. My stress reliever. I'm in love with it. From then on, and till this day...I dance. I dance, and I don't see an end in sight very soon. But until that day arrives...turn the stage lights on and take a seat. I'm going to blow your mind.

Graduating from high school was def. a big thing. Esp. all the perks that came with it. Prom was def a night that can be noted. Alice and I winnign prom king and queen was an experience you can't buy. It's something you can never take away either. The excitement...the disbelief. Wearing that crown on my head...and dancing the night away... This...I will never forget. Moving on to college was a huge shift for me. Completely new friends. New lifestyle. More independence. Despite all the hardships that come with this new lifestyle..I'm enjoying myself, and finally finding myself and discovering myself as a person. New dance crew...new dance experiences..and a new person in my life. Khristine is and will be someone who I cherish very much. She has made me stronger. She has shown me the good..the bad..and the ugly. But that's what you need. I finaly found someone who isn't afraid to show me everything that comes into life. I live by a quote that I've heard recently...and it has made the most sense to me...and it relates pretty well to this. "If you can't handle the worst of something, do you really deserve the best of that something?" Will you still love me in the morning? Forever and ever babe. :D <3

There are so many things I'm so thankful for...
I am.
I'm thankful for my friends. Whether it be my friends in East brunswick, or even my new friends here in Stony Brook. I am thankful for each and everyone of them. And I need to remind myself that I need to remind them each and every opportunity that I can, that I dont take them for granted. I love each and everyone of them, and they should know that too. I am thankful for my family. Without my family, I'm not sure where I'll be. They always come out and support me. I know if I ever need any help...that they'll be there to get my back. I love them, and I want them to know that I'm here for them...just as much as they are here for me. I'm thankful for my health. As much as I am very causious about my head problems...my ticks..and my now disappeared stutter...I am very thankful for how healthy I am. I'm still very athletic..and I'm still alive. That's all I neeed baby. Just give me life. Thankyou. and of course...I;m thankful for God. Without him...I would be a lost soul...searching for nothing in life. Thankyou.

With all the new things, and all the new experiences...I can really look back on '08 and smile. Despite all the bad that has happened...there were so many goods. Haha, I'm smiling just thinking about it right now. I'm so excited to see what 2009 has to offer.

This brings me to my Promises. One promise I need to make is, I promise to be stronger. One thing 2008 has taught me is that, you need to go thru the bad to expereince more good. That's the only way you're going to make it. You need to learn in order to advance. I promise to be courageous...and be strong and to keep my held high when things are down. Because I know as long as I keep faithful, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise to try harder. I mean this almost every aspect you can shape it. My grades. My god my grades... They weren't horrible this first semester...but they can def improve. I promise to remain focused..and to remain on track on what i came to collge to do...which is study. This also goes for dance. I need to rememeber...nothing is achieved without good practice and determination. Theres always room for improvement...and I always need to remember...there will always be a guy better than me. Never settle. You can always learn. And also to rememebr to not get down when I'm reminded of this. Life is all about learning. Thats how you get better. I promise to trust. I also mean this every aspect you can think of. I need to trust in my loved ones...my friends...and as well as myself. Make sure I can trust myself...because if this cannot be achieved..then how can I trust others? I promise to believe. I;ve learned int he past that God is up there. And that he is looking down upon me and watching over me. He has helped me thru the toughest times...and I need to keep the faith. I need to show Him that I believe. I want to live in the name of the Lord...and to do so, I need to act like it.

2009 will be an interesting year. I can feel it already. Im determined and I'm excited as well. I can even say I'm a little scared. But nonetheless, bring it on 2009. Show me what your made of.

with love, derek gamboa.

Happy Holidays.

Hello. Hapyy Holidays.
Not really much else to say.
Its gonna be a good time. I can feel it.


...Obviously...there's more to say.

-derek

Refresh accomplished.

Wow. So my life finally did hit reset. I'm stil not sleeping the way I should...haha. But I think my life finally take its time and hit refresh. I feel anew. Maybe it was reconnecting with a friend that should'nt have lost touch anyway. Or maybe it was realizing you won't see your boo for a good 6 weeks...and you go out of your way to hold her tighter when you hug her. Not sure. Maybe it's all that combined. Or maybe it's when you finally get out of the never ending tunnel of being involved in your friends drama. drama which involves all of them yelling at you at the same time. Maybe it's that? Or it's maybe finding out something completely devastating...something that had occured about a loved one..maybe something that had made my heart break...even thought technically...my heart was not attatched to the name yet...maybe it was gettng through that and coming out alive...maybe? I don't know. And honestly..I dont care if I'll ever know. All I know is, is that the feeling of being strangling is gone...and I can finally live again.

I promised myself a new Derek when I come back next semester. New everything. Well..scratch that...not ''new''..more like...hmm...''improved''?
Well I decided to finally fix up that mess I call hair on my head...I decided to work out again...I wil dance till my legs give out...and I will return with a new attitude when it comes to academics. Hmm...oh yeah! I'll actually write in this thing more often. Haha..we'll see how long that lasts...

I'm excited for winter break. Enough of this stress..and enough of this work. Time to get back to getting retarded for a good 6 weeks. Ima miss my loser...but we'll work things out.

Oh...random note. I finally started putting together everything for the new dance crew I want to start. I made teh facebook group and everything! I had an awesome response...and alot of talented dancers. All I need...is a goddamn studio. For the choreographer lineup...I'm looking at a good squad of Alice, Gian, Rob, Storm, and myself. I'm tempted to be on the lookout for anothe female choreographer...but we;ll let the opportunity present itself.

I;ve been getting thru my finals pretty well. My lab final wasn' as bad as I thought it would be...and spanish I completely destroyed yo. Math...eh. And chem is my last to take at the moment. I love how I'm typign this at 5:53 in the morning and my test is at 2PM today..eek. Eh...I'll be fine.

Sigh...I can't wait for all this to be over. I really can't. Soon derek, soon. Thats what I keep telling myself. Until then...I will get back to you my blog friend. Hmm..I want to come up with a name for this blog in general. So i can feel like I'm talking to someone as I'm doing this. Haha...I'll keep you posted.

By the way...thanks duckie for everything yo. mucho love. dhurr.

-mischi3f

crazy.

Wow. I can't explain how much this week has been a handful. Try being scared for a friend. Concerned about a loved one. Felt pressure about your future. Felt your heart sink. Felt as if responsibilty had their hands around your neck. Try doing that all in a week. Doesn't sound like much...but its way more than I can handle. Like I said in my last blog...I've been drowning myself in my books. I need an A on these exams...and I'm willing to rip my brain apart to be able to pull it off. Once it's ver..I cannot wait to just sit back and fucking relax. Despite what I had mentioned before about my choreography...it's been one of my stress releases. So has Khristine. Thank God for my baby:D. BUt other than that...life is a fucking wreck at the moment. I go to sleep stressed...and I wake up stressed. I shound't bitch, seeing that any person with a label on them called ''college student'' has the same problems...its just that other problesm drowned within the stress is definitely not helping. Ugh...end of stress rant.

So. I missed Fr3sh auditions. I woke up that morning regretting the fact I didnt go. Even though I'm not even sure if I would of even made it...it's an experience I wish I took part in. Sigh...it's alright. I have my opportunities coming up. Rhythmology could be an option...or even SiC. Heh. We'll see right? As of right now...P.D.C. is my focus and soon to be my responsibilty. It's my famz. Stick to the famz.

Break is coming up and I'm fuckin siked. Have nothing to worry about except wakin up...and tackling the day anyway I want to. I cannot wait.


agh. i want relaxation. i want it now.

Time to Hit Refresh.

My world needs a refresh button. Finals have taken over the past 2 weeks and being named one of the head coordinators for PDC was glorious...yet extremely overwhelming. My brain is an overfilling pot filled with...Khristine...friends...choreo ideas...notes and notes and notes for chem/calc/spanish. I just want everything to clean out and i need a new slate. My brain can't keep up. Its all my fault..I decided to leave everything for the very...fucking...last...minute. Ugh. I need to save myself as much as I can this semester...then start anew next semester. I have finals comin up next week..and I have buried my face into the books this week. I feel pretty accomplished in myself actually. I'm determined to ACE these finals. Aother thing rattling my brain is choreo. I have all these ideas..and ideas..and I'm just trying to pull everything together. Ahhh someone save me. My brain is way too tired to keep typing. I promise myself a good entry. i promise.

Don't really have an artsy title for this.

Wow. It's been a while. Kinda. Haha. Anyways...lets see. What has happened since i last checked in? Hmmm. Well my dance crew PDC rocked Asia Night. That was exciting. That was the first performance for the new generation of PDC. I beleiev we did pretty well. When i showed Tita Thess the vid...she actually said that we were better than RDT[Alice' dance crew]. Hmm. Interesting. haha.After that...nothing too exciting happened. Thanksgiivng break came by. That was intersting. The yabuts and the Gatchalians came by. It was nice seeing them all again. Brings back old good feelings. :] But yeah thanskgiving was great. Ate myself close to death...and got to spend itme with the family. Its been a month since i last saw the fam. I get to see them again this weekend tho. I have stephanies sweet sixteen to attend. That shoudl be fun. Anyways...I've decided i might actually go through with trying out for Fr3sh. I just need to put together a way for me to get there and back for every practice. But...other than that...i should be auditioning. Its abiut 4:40 AM right now. Im awake because I'm on an all night cram for chem. Riht now is my break...so i decided to cool my brain off for a bit. Hmm...i can't realy thnk of much else to say. 'll prolly rmbr later tmrw. Till then. peace.